About 9 months ago my life changed forever. After Silas arrived, things were never the same again. I know every set of parents say that and prior to becoming a parent, you will never really understand. Even in the way Silas arrived, (an emergency C-section) I was already being taught that plans change, and my idea of “control” was going to be different going forward.
Now, I love being a mother. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me (sorry hubby). I am in awe of the joy and love I feel for Silas and all of the things that he makes better. I was recently struck that many of my ideas on what to keep and what to let go of have changed over the past 9 months….and I wanted to share those thoughts with you.
Toss: Your Opinion
Moms (and dads) always have an opinion on things. And theirs is always right. When raising children, it’s our job to do what we think is right. However, it’s not our job to tell OTHERS what is right. If someone asks for help, give them advice. However, I’ve been on the receiving end of this unsolicited advice, which usually means “you’re doing it wrong and you’re going to scar your kid for life, or worse”. So keep it to yourself folks. Judgement and bickering have no place in parenthood.
Keep: Good Friends
Friendship after baby changes drastically. Between taking care of the baby, career, house, pets, relationship with my spouse, and myself, there’s not a lot of time left over for friendships. I’ve found that some friendships have deepened and others have just fallen to the side. I will admit, there were a lot of things I didn’t understand about parenthood before I was in the trenches and a lot of times I probably judged moms who couldn’t make it out or ran late. I barely have time for the things I NEED to do. Yes, I’d love to go out with my friends more. I’d love to relax and get pedicures. However, it’s just not feasible for me right now. So, to all of those friends who send me a quick text saying hello or cheering me on, I will be forever grateful. It’s amazing how a few short words from someone can change the whole course of a day.
Keep: My Job
Lots of moms stay home. Lots of moms go to work. I’m somewhere in the middle and I work from home most of the time, and head to the office about once a week. So, I’m at home with baby, but can’t necessarily spend all day playing educational games, or making my own baby food. Hell, I can barely get the adult dinner on the table. As if leaving your baby to work isn’t heart wrenching enough, stay at home moms want to judge you. I’m not ashamed to admit it, I WANT to work. I am choosing to work as it gives me a sense of purpose, I love what I do, and I feel it’s important to have my son see me as a working professional. I’m following my dream and I don’t have to give that up to be a mom. And better yet, I don’t need to feel guilty for it.
Toss: Unrealistic Expectations
I can’t decide if Pinterest was the best or worst thing to happen to parenting. Need a rainy day activity? Just type it in the search field. Want to feel like a horrible, underachieving parent? Type something into the search field to see how you are falling short of creating a picture perfect, educational, activity for your child every day. Life is messy and we’re all just running from one thing to the other trying to survive. If somewhere in there you can find a little beauty, enjoy yourself, and make everyone smile, then you’re a superhero.